When January comes, we all tend to make resolutions, even if that resolution is to not make any at all. We want to lose some weight, cut our alcohol intake, quit smoking etc. Every year, we all do it. Even if we don't admit it to anyone or even ourselves.
But then there are those of us who make more radical resolutions. Sure I have quit smoking recently but that has been on the cards for a while, I have a real one, one I want to see through all the way to the end. I have been single for almost 3 years now. My last relationship ended in January 2009, after months of awfulness, I finally ended it. I was completely fine about the fact it was finally done with. Relieved even.
I turned 25 years old this past November and I would like to have my heart broken before I hit the ripe old age of 26. Which doesn't give me much time. I suppose you are wondering why I would want to go through something like that. Well, it is very simple really, I just want to experience it. I want to know how it feels to fall in love, make all these plans for the future and to have someone strip them all away and to not have any say in the matter. To get to listen to Adele and have a better understanding as to what she is on about, to cry because I get what she is saying so much - because I would have been there.
It might make me sound crazy but I think it might make me a more emphatic person, nicer and more understanding. It also might prevent me from being so closed off, I have loved before until it fizzled out and I couldn't stand it anymore. I haven't been the slightest bit interested in getting to another one since. I don't want to feel that way, I want to be more open.
I am not lonely, I have never been seriously lonely. But I do sometimes wonder that one day I might be and it might be too late.
So I have a few short months to meet someone, fall in love - head over heels in love, have them leave or cheat on me and for me to be an emotional mess. Listen to 'Someone Like Me' on repeat, in my PJ's - for days on end, eating copious amounts of ice cream and ya know going through the whole awful break up thing.
That is doable right?
15 comments:
Talk about "for all the wrong reasons!"
I don't know if it's doable. There are many variables at play. Love is a funny thing. There's no schedule or process. You can date and date til you b-day and not fall in love. Or you could fall in love three months from now. Then what about when you're in the relationship? What if that person is not ready to end things or you for that matter.
You can only plan to experience things, it's not necessarily going to happen that way. And I am sounding like a total know-it-all. :)
I used to draw a bubblebath, shut all the lights, light scented candles everywhere, take a bottle of cheap red wine into the tub, and play Air Supply: Greatest Hits on repeat until I'd cried it all out.. Rinse; repeat.
Oh good grief!
Peace <3
Jay
Not sure I like the idea...sure it could make you more compassionate to others as you say, etc, etc. But like many others you could react bitterly, even a homicidal fashion. A great many people never recover from broken hearts and I'm not sure its something one can just "do" to experience then switch it off. You've heard of crimes of passion, right? I truly think these things happen to us when they are supposed to not when we "want" them too. I really believe that pushing or manipulating fate can have catastrophic consequences...just my opinion..
I totally get where you're coming from...although, just a hint of heartbreak is enough to make me never want to touch love ever again.
Thormoo - Wow, you took it to a whole other place. Darkness. Well done.
i finally let go of the person i really love. i was going to another direction. things get complicated between us so i had to break up with her.
a cheerful visit from philippines.
We will be here to get you through it bud. :)
I don't know that wishing to have your heart broken and finally having your heart broken are really good things. Just living your life will give you enough heartbreaks to understand what Adele is on about. Hope for joy. Hope for true love, if that's what you want. Don't hope for heartbreak. That comes in life whether you want it or not.
Is it doable? Sure is! I am a realist, and I know that falling in love very often leads to major heartbreak.
Of course there are those who go for years and years and the love lasts...but those are rare and special.
...so go for it! It is no fun, but part of life.
Ian, I'm 28 and still waiting for this to happen to me. I keep thinking there must be something wrong; how can I be 28 and never have loved someone enough to have my heart broken? Will I ever be loved at all?
My friends who have been through desperate heart-break tell me I'm the lucky one. I don't know if they're right or not, though. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all...? It's a thought that haunts me.
I don't like it. Having your heart broken is AWFUL; why would you actively seek that out? There are a thousand other things that could increase your empathy and compassion, try those. Besides, you don't KNOW that having your heart broken will make you a nicer guy - what if it makes you a bitter, angry guy instead? Seriously...
Ian!
You can't rush love.
True love finds YOU when you're ready for it...for the right reasons.
Patience. Patience. Patience.
-Dean
I hope you fall in love and do not experience the rest...
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