I don't think I have taken much notice of some of the milestones that have naturally occurred in the 4 years I have been writing this blog. At best, I have made a celebratory post on the anniversary of my first post but that seems to be the most of it.
But this post, this collection of words, is my 600th. It seems like a massive number but at the same time, it seems like it is not enough. In over 4 years and over 600 posts, so much has gone on and there have been many changes. I give so much of myself to this blog, that it is really just an extension of myself. It has been where I turn my thoughts and my feelings into words to then give them to you, my readers.
On a more superficial level, the blog's structure has gone through so many aesthetic changes. My writing has drastically improved. Reading back on my first post, I couldn't help but laugh. It was so choppy, it didn't tell its story and I struggle to believe that I was being true to myself.
I love comments on my blog, when a post is completed I love reading peoples views on what I have said. But you may not know this but when I write, when I am in the process of developing a post, the only way I can insure that I am candid, honest and frank, is to pretend that no one will read it. I always keep that in mind.
It has been an exciting 600 posts and I won't lie, I admit there have been times, when my attention to the blog has waned but it has always been there. It's always been important to me. I am immensely proud of the work I have done. So I would like to take the time to include some of the posts, which I have enjoyed writing the most, which I believe to be good works of writing or that have been relevant to the evolution of the blog.
Well, the name is in the title. This was my first post to Blogger, I wrote it in April 2008. I had previously had an inactive Live Journal account that I did not update with an pattern. But then I read a blog belonging to a friend and decided to get one of my own. I remember even then, making the vow to stick with it whilst at the same time, thinking in the back of my head, that I would quickly get bored.
This post was the first look into my childhood, my real life. I had written previous posts, which included journal entries, but these were all just a documentation of events, rather than feelings. This post, I believe was the first real thing I posted. It was real because it was important. It was the first time I gave a part of myself to my blog.
I have included this post not because it is particularly well written but because it was the first time that anything I had ever written had received praise. Not by a comment left on the post, no it was actually an email from the author of the book. An email which I still have and read to every now and again.
This, was the first article I ever alluded to my addiction. It pretty much speaks for itself.
Up until this post, nothing showed my vulnerability more. It was a post about a really complicated situation of the heart, I was totally infatuated with this guy and the situation he put me in. The post is important because I really wore my heart on my sleeve. It's this post, which really gave me the confidence to put myself out there and to use this blog as the tool to do so.
Calling In Fat:
This one is important to me, almost as much as the one above, for very much the same reason. However, I have also included this because I remember how difficult it was to write. It was saved as a draft for a long time but I remember how exhilarating it felt, to press the publish button. It was the first time I realized that writing about my insecurities, was just as cathartic as it was difficult.
Going It Alone:
Going it alone, was one of those times specifically designed for its inevitable blog post. It was something I wanted to do and also share with my readers. Pushing myself to do something I would not have had the courage to do. It helped me gain the courage to do it. I was immensely proud of this.
The Day I Died:
This one, I am not so proud of. It was a very difficult time in my life but the post and the time it chronicles were a pertinent phase and it is something which is still something I have to deal with every now and then. I am always careful to make sure that I include not just the good things but to give myself to the blog, warts and all. I am horribly ashamed of the events surrounding this post but I didn't hesitate for one second about writing it.
Coming Out And My Gay Brother:
For many a gay person, their coming out tale is usually a significant time in their life. However, this post explains how it wasn't really a big deal for me because I already had a brother who is gay. It is one of the most popular posts on my blog and I still receive emails about it, it is also one of my most read pieces. So it deserves a place on this list.
The Queen Of Extreme:
This post is not about me, it was the first biography about a 3rd party. It was really just me being a big fan boy and writing about one of my childhood heroes. Again, it is a very well read post and I have included it on this list as it is one of the most enjoyable to write.
The Disgusting Housemate:
It is all part of that learning curve called adulthood but 'The Disgusting Housemate' was my first real run in with a housemate and when I shared this story, I was not expecting the response I got. There were so many emails from people who had or were currently in the same situation.
The 5 A Day Challenge:
The idea was simple, I would speak to 5 people every day, whom I did not speak often or I had never spoken before. I was really down at the time, feeling disassociated within my community and this little excercise, really lifted my spirits and I even gained a couple of new friends out of it.
I haven't included this post because it is something I am proud of nor is it something that I think is particularly well written. No, it is here because it was such a big part of my year and my life.
No Case To Answer:
It was the most conflicting time of my life, the mix of fear and excitement. It was the day that 8 months of uncertainty would come to an end. The result went in my favour and I think because I was so tapped into my emotions that I believe this post to be my best piece of writing yet.
I wasn't sure to include this post but the emails I received about it, from people in the similar situations made my mind up for me. I can share it, now that I have moved on from him and it is significant because it was an important learning experience for me.
There are a lot of other posts, I am proud of but these ones, have a very special place in my heart and on this blog. I hope that in 4 years time, there might be another 600 posts to review. But I just want to stress that this isn't just a hobby, this blog has been my friend, enemy and therapist over the years, it has helped me grow and develop into a better person.
Thus is the power of the blog...
Thank you for reading.