Monday, 21 January 2013
Here Cometh The Bride
It's not often that we would all be in the same room together, the entire family, in-laws and children included. It can be difficult, stressful, past resentments just bubbling away under the surface. They are not always occasions I enjoy as enjoyment and nostalgia tend to give way to tension, with very little incitement. It is that very reason, why I don't drink when we are all together, I guess it could be interpreted as a need or want to keep my wits, keeping my defenses up.
But we are a close family, especially us four siblings and although as a unit, we may not be fully cohesive, we all seem to have individual connections and affections for one another. But sometimes putting it all together, can leave me exhausted.
But there are occasions, when all tensions are put aside, where everyone is on their best behaviour, everyone gets on and not just for the sake of it either, it can be one of those special occasions, where just the event invokes a spirit of unity. It's rare but, highly pleasurable. I get to enjoy my family, as they should be enjoyed.
But it takes a very special milestone, to make that happen.
I am relegated to the couch, it is the night before the wedding and my comfortable double bed is currently occupied by my Brother and his Wife. The house is full of excitement, their 3 excited children, who probably won't sleep a wink. I know I certainly will not, are upstairs in their bunk beds. I am not an easy sleeper at the best of times, so throw in a sense of occasion and my eyes will not be closed for more than a few minutes. The hours wilt away fairly quickly and I count down the time until it can be considered reasonable to start the preparations, to not wake everyone else up.
I won't be traveling to the venue with the rest of the family. Gillian, my lesbian friend has agreed to be my date for the day and my driver. I considered my options when the date was first set, it can be an important question, who to bring. I didn't want an actual romantic date, a boyfriend or prospect to accompany me, no, I did not want to have to look back at photo's or memories of the day in years to come and have that person, whoever he may have been and being stuck with thoughts like 'I don't know what I saw in that loser' or 'That wanker broke my heart'. No, I needed someone who would more than just provide me with company, I needed someone there, who could give me comfort, comic relief and would be a lot of fun to hang out with. Gillian, was the obvious and best choice.
The drive to the venue, takes about 40 minutes, Gillian drives and we follow my Brother and his boyfriend, as they know the way. A few minutes was spent with the bride before we left and I get choked up at the thought that when I see her next, she will be getting married and although we have known for months, it holds an emotional significance, right now, at that moment. When we arrive at the hotel, I am astounded at the suite we have been given. I am not new to a hotel room and I have thought that I have slept in some nice ones. But this is nothing compared to anything I have enjoyed before, there are rooms, plural. A living room and a bedroom, antiquated, Edwardian, classic. Tonight, I will sleep in a four poster bed.
Gillian and I enjoy the perks of the room, the robes, the slippers, the view, before we get ready. I had chosen what I wanted to wear, months ago. It's my 3rd wedding in 12 months and I wore something appropriate to the previous two but nothing that was really me, nothing that stood out. My outfit today does, and I am reasonably pleased with it, although it fit better before the Christmas weight gain.
The hotel is also the ceremony venue, a civil union, in one of its state rooms, which holds 60 of their nearest and dearest. The room is beautiful decorated, pale blues, whites and golds. I can see why the picked it. We all pile into the room, the bridesmaid, the flower girls, the groomsman, the pageboy, the family, the friends. Music starts, 'Set Fire To The Third Bar' and then there is an audible gasp and here she comes, there she is....
The Bride, my Sister.
The most beautiful being thing I have ever seen, the dress, is hers, it's been made for her. She looks a vision. I can't even know come up with the corect adjective, that will truly capture how unbelievably gorgeous she look. Then I look at him, the groom. He is smiling but his lip trembles. It gives him away.
They are married, in a civil ceremony, it's simple but has beautiful unique touches, such as the pouring of symbolic sand, into a bowl, which signifies their union, with themselves and their daughter. It's classic, simple and beautiful. Elegant. There is no mention of god, neither of them are religious an the entire event has been tailored to fit them perfectly.
Dinner is followed by dancing, a band plays all of their favourite songs. Their first dance is 'All For One, One For All' by Bryan Adams, Sting and Rod Stewart. It's shared with their only daughter Rachel and I find myself choked up again. Everyone joins in then, as tradition dictates, although the wedding is small, less than 100 guests in total, there is no decline in atmosphere and the party is in full swing.
It's been an amazing day.
As I write this now and think about it, the best days of my life have been the wedding day of my loved ones, my Brothers wedding in 2009 and my best friends wedding last year. It makes me wonder, if I were to have a wedding, what would it be like, who would he even be. I guess we will see.