Sunday, 3 March 2013
The Single Person Gaff
Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you ... Hallmark doesn't make a "congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy" card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone? - Carrie Bradshaw
I like Sex and The City, as a gay man, that is probably not that shocking or unusual. It's incredibly smart, witty and well written. There isn't much I can say about that hasn't been said before. But the quote above and the episode its contained within, resonate with me in particular. There is a reason why.
I am a single gay man, I do not have a boyfriend, and its unlikely that I will ever get married, meaning the chances of me having any children are very slim. Although, I may want to have all these things in the future, a house, a husband and kids, at this particular moment, I don't. It would take someone very special to change my mind.
I am also an uncle, a brother and a brother in law. I have three nieces and one nephew and likely in the not too distant future, that may be subject to increase. That means as a single man, I have to ensure that I am available for Christmas holidays, communions, weddings, birthdays and other special occasions. This also applies to my friends. I have lived in another country for almost 8 years, so this has often meant, booking flights and other associated travel costs.
Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy getting gifts for special occasions Celebrating the union between two friends. My friend Michael got married to his husband Kevin last year and It was genuinely one of the the greatest days of my life. Both my brother and my sisters weddings, were momentous events for not just them, but for me.
However, my point is, very much like Carrie's is, that as a single person, there is not one single occasion where you are celebrated for just being you, not being part of a union, not knocking out a sprog. As Charlotte said, we have birthdays, but we all have those.
We don't give gifts to receive them, but throughout all the years, I have probably spent in the thousands, celebrating the choices of others and being my way inclined, its unlikely that I will ever have such an occasions that will award my choice. So sparing that, the least I would like, is a little appreciation for things that I have to do, and will be expected to do for years to come.
I would love to read other peoples views on similar situations.