Monday, 3 October 2011

The Break Up

Do you remember the post I made about relationships and the terms and conditions that usually accompany them? (Read it here).

The perfect couple that I looked up to, used as a template for any future relationship, have made me seriously consider entering into a new relationship, with a new glimmer of hope. Well, they have split up. There have been a whole load of issues which have 'caused' the break up, I won't go into them here as it is not my story to tell.

Whenever I have dealt with a break up directly or seeing a friend or family member, I have always seen it as something that needed to happen. These relationships have been close to breaking point, or one of party has done something which means the relationship cannot plausibly continue, others have just been volatile from the start and it was obvious they would not last long. Regardless of reason, the break up is usually the best thing for everyone involved.

But not in this case, as I said this is not my story to tell but there was some circumstances which may have caused friction in the relationship. They have recently moved from the suburbs to the city centre, one of them has been ill, both are feeling stress from their jobs and they have made a lot of new friends, socialising a lot etc.

I can't help but feel that the stress has got to both of them and they have blamed their relationship for it. They are so perfect together and I am so sad they have come to this decision. They have been together for four years and I am worried they have rushed into the decision. It came about and they had split up in a matter of hours. I do hope this is just blip and when they sit down to talk and figure some stuff out.

On a more selfish level, I want them to get back together as they are very good friends of mine and we socialise a lot and have a lot of fun and I don't want them fun times to end. I like them as a couple and I know they love each other very much and I think the reasons they have broken up can be fixed or changed, it just takes time and might be hard work.

When I split up with my last serious boyfriend, it was on the horizon for months, we had a very volatile 12 months and in the last 6 months, I fell out of love with him, I started to resent him and when I finally took the big step by moving out of our apartment, I was more excited than heartbroken, I was happy. However these two are missing each other very much, it makes no sense to me that they should be apart.

I really hope they get back together, if they cannot make it work, then what hope do the rest of us have.


Anonymous said...

breakups are always so hard and confussing, and sad :(

becca said...

i agree with David on this

Mind Of Mine said...

I really do hope that they figure it out and get back together.

Jason Shaw said...

Break ups of any kind are always hard to take, completely understand and sometimes accept. I only hope that ultimately their happiness is paramount and if they means they get back together super, if not, then their break up is probably the best thing for them.

queer heaven said...

I guess I should not comment on this, since I am happily single. From what i have seen over the years. Only the two involved know when it is time to leave. Unfortunatly, too many "try to work things out" and in the long run it just makes things worse. It seems better to me to get out before you hate each other.

Lucy/Kat said...

Sometimes breaking up is best at the time...other times it's hard to do because you still really love them but the time away makes you really see things differently then you have been seeing things to begin with. It'll all work out someway or another don't worry to much and being selfish can be in many ways but hey we all want our friends and loved ones happy.

jen said...

Since I don't know this couple - I can't really say... I do know that people thought my ex and I were a great couple. They never would have guessed all the pain that was there. And I missed him when we split up, but that doesn't mean it was a good thing...

And I'm sad that you are sad.

One London Life said...

Hey. Stopping by a few blogs to see what the world is saying. Saw this post and decided to comment! :)

I've been with my husband for more than 10 years. Many consider us "the perfect couple" (and tell us so). Most of the time, our public face certainly gives that impression. Too many times we've been told that our relationship is what friends long for.

We love each other. At times, though, that's not been enough. We've come close to splitting a few times through the years. At the last moment, something has always come along to save our relationship, be it couples counselling or family tragedy, something to make us pull together, not apart.

People, relationships and situations change over time. They have to. If they don't change, they stagnate and die. Sometimes time tears relationships apart. Nothing is set in stone.

Dempsey Sanders said...

I think one things definately for sure, the couple are not only lucky to have a friend like you, but I think they would also look up to you just as much as you look up to them.

It's a really nice post, from my own experiences of recently breaking up with my long time partner, I am glad to see that the split and the time apart made us realise that I could never live without him, and glad to say that we are back, maybe this couple will do the same thing and your admiration for them will be restored .

Demps x

Blue Dog Food said...

Crossed fingers. Hoping they will figure this out and just get back with each other